Edinburgh, the Fringe, why bother?
Because I once again need an excuse as to why I’m not going on a summer holiday with anyone this year. The fringe is the perfect excuse for why I haven’t had a tan for 5 years. Also, the fringe is a great source of motivation to write new jokes every year. If I didn’t have that, I’d still be doing my material about how awkward it is when you need the toilet during lectures.
What have been the nuggets of inspiration behind your show this year?
Very hard to tell. I’ve spent the last 7 years just writing notes in my phone of ‘funny things I’ve thought of’ so this year’s show is a bunch of those disparate things woven into a narrative. Most of the inspiration comes from drinking a lot of coffee and staring out of the window while on a train. For this reason I have far too many jokes about cows. Definitely not what I was planning.
Stand-out Fringe moment to date?
The day I got nominated fan Edinburgh Comedy Award in 2015 was a great day because I invented a new meal which was macaroni and cheese with little bits of pepperoni sliced into it. I named it ‘Macaropperoni’
When you wished a hole had opened up in the ground and swallowed you up?
I got booed off in front of 900 people in 2012. I was a very new comedian and was doing some very silly jokes which were very misjudged for such a late-night, large crowd. While it was happening I thought I was dead. A very scary and bizarre feeling. I went back stage and at an attempt to get a silver lining to this horrifying cloud of an evening I decided to eat all of the brownies that were back stage. This made me violently sick and due to the sugar content of the brownies I was extremely awake and alert all night while feeling the most ill that I had been in ages. I got about 15 minutes of sleep that night I think in which I dreamed that I was a farm. Not on a farm, but I WAS a farm.
Your unsung heroes in the industry at present?
To be honest he’s not unsung but Bob Slayer is definitely a hero of mine. He runs the Venue I’m doing this year (The Hive) in such a way that makes it economically viable for all of the acts, even if they’re not selling 100 tickets a day. Plus the venue is amazing and he selects only a few comedians to do it every year who he finds hilarious and not just people who he thinks is going to make him a lot of money.
Three shows you must see this Fringe?
Mat Ewins, Tom Walker, Sam Campbell
The one person you’d love to see your show and why?
The reason why one should come and see your show?
Laughs per minute.
The one thing in Edinburgh you must do?
Text your mum if it’s her birthday and go on a tour of the caves because caves are nice and relaxing.
Ah sorry, you’re dead. But least you can have that dinner party you’ve always wanted. Who are you inviting?
I would invite everyone who has ever wronged me. I would sit them all down and pretend that it was an evening to resolve our differences; however, I’ve intentionally made the seating plan such that each person is sitting next to someone with whom they have very little in common and so they’ll have very awkward conversation all night. I’ll also make sure to insufficiently season the food so it isn’t as nice as they would have liked. The music I’ll have playing in the background will also be transposed into a minor key as so to make everyone feel sub consciously very uncomfortable. As they leave, I will have their jackets handed back to them by my maid; little do they know that this is no ordinary maid, but a part-time seamstress who has altered their coats to make them think they’ve now completely changed shape/height and hopefully driving them to insanity. If none of this is possible then probably Nelson Mandela and John Lennon.
Adam Hess: Feathers is at Heroes @ The Hive at 4:10pm, 5th – 28th August