You have to be joking? Rob Auton


The joke that you loved but no one else did?

I’m not sure if it’s a joke, in fact I’m pretty sure it’s not, but I had a bit I was doing about Satsumas and hand dryers.  How every now and again I put my hands under the hand dryer and I think “OK this is one of those occasions.  I’m going to treat myself.  I know what I’m going to do here. I’m going all the way baby.”  And how afterwards my hands are warm and sometimes my hands feel even dryer than they were before I wet them. My hands are dry hands and I feel like I’ve accomplished something. It feels to me like I do that the exact same amount of times a year that I eat a satsuma and I thoroughly peel all the white web bits off until it is completely clear.

I thought there was something in that but it turns out there wasn’t for anybody else apart from me.

The joke that worked but you are not so proud that it had?

In 2013 I was saying a joke that was “I heard a rumour Cadbury’s are releasing an oriental chocolate bar, could be a Chinese Wispa.”  It was a throw away gag that was getting a mixed response but it got chosen as the funniest joke of the Fringe by the comedy channel Dave.  I got the most exposure I’d ever had for anything and it was because of those 16 words.  Going on the radio and television saying that joke. It was hardcore.

 The comedian(s) that made you want to be a comedian?

I’m not sure if I can call myself a comedian and I’m not sure the performer who inspired me to want to be a performer could call himself a comedian either, but it was Ivor Cutler who made me want to get up on stage and say my piece. His books and albums have made me laugh and think the most out of anybody.  Spike Milligan also made me want to clench my brain and do exactly what I want to do instead of trying to please people with what I don’t really believe in .

The last thing that made you cry with laughter?

Probably Kerry’s Mum in ‘This Country’ saying “Tomato”.

Rob Auton: The Talk Show


Just the Tonic at The Caves – Just the Fancy Room

2nd -26th August

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