Danielle Ward: Seventeen

In 1996 Danielle Ward was seventeen years old. She was obsessed with Brett Anderson from Suede, and didn’t think Tony Blair was a terrible lying warmongering bastard. It was a more innocent time, although if Ward knew then what she knows now, things might have been different. Seventeen is about the advice that Ward wants to bestow on today’s young women, covering topics like pubic hair maintenance, worry-free wanking, and the state of the post-recession housing market.

The intimate settings of the Caves are appropriate for Ward’s confessions, although she admits that 2.40pm is possibly too early for all the sexual content in the show. The lessons for young women are usually excuses to rant about modern life, and occasionally the lessons are abandoned completely for weird riffs about Friends episodes, racial profiling on planes, and Sting. And, of course, there are songs.

It’s not at all clear if Danielle Ward is someone you really want to be taking advice from, but an hour in her company is always a fun time. Ward has loads of energy and gags to spare, culminating with a rousing finale. Some of the more obscure 90s references might fly over young people’s heads, but they might still learn a thing or two.


Stuart Addison

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